Around about 1999 (yes, that's in a previous millennium), my gorilla puppet Murray used to update his website a whole lot more regularly than I do this blog. With the impending release of Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace, he posted this article (with a little bit of photoshoppy sort of help from me inserting Jedi Murray into various scenes). I had to video the original flash movie with my phone to reproduce it it here, sorry for the quality of that, but I felt it needed to be here. Anyway, enjoy what passed as state of the art internets in the 90's!
Everyone is going crazy about all this 'Star Wars' stuff,
so it's time I had a look at it.
Use the FORKS, Luke!!!
Silly Skywalker boy is just a farmboy, him don't unnerstand stuff about eating nice, dats why we gotta keep reminding him about his cutlery (that's 'silverware' for all you Amerikan types..). He gets easily confused.
But then, I don't know why they go on soooo much about forks in Starwars. 'Use the forks', 'may the forks be with you', the 'dark side of the forks'. Why so much stuff about forks?? Is there some hidden meaning? Has Mr Lucas got a eating disorder?
Obviously it's handy carrying a fork wiv you, tho you don't need 'em for bananas... and the 'dark side' of the forks? What's all that about? Dirty Forks? Using the pointy end instead of the handle bit? Jabbing your sister in the thigh could be an evil use of the fork... hmmm.
And has this got anything to do with 'Guy Forks Night'? Johnno says he doesn't think that forks are 'gender specific', but then, that's just the silly thing you'd expect him to come out with...
A very rare and special young lady, this. Not many Republics even HAVE Princesses!
Hey I get it now! 'May the Fourth' is Princess Leia's birthday, and ObiWan is there to remind Luke he's gotta pick up a present for her! But what do you get a Princess who has everything? A new Empire??
hmm... no, still don't make any sense...
This is my friend Jar Jar G'boor. He is now a famous movie star, and it's because of little me! I told him about all the fun I had in Jamaica, and he thought it sounded real good, so he went to see. He like it soooooo much he even started trying to talk like a Jamaican (but not very well..)
Anyway, sitting on a beach in Jamaica, he met Mr Lucas, who was looking for people for his new movie. Jar Jar got the job! But he had to change his name to 'Binks' or somefing silly like that.
Mr Lucas said that Jar Jar G'boor was a silly name for a movie star...
What's this picture all about? Does it mean I'm gonna be King Kong when I grow up? I don't think so! That would be 'fatalism' so Johnno says! (but what does HE know?)
So did the little kid HAVE to grow up to be the dude in the black cape? Or is life stuck on a set of rails and you just gotta hang on for the ride?
And if so, what's the point? What I think is I have a free choice as to what I do, and there is such a fing as 'God's Will' which I may or may not choose to follow.. I mean, I'm not a puppet, now am I? (well, okay, I'm a puppet, but you're not!). And if you are a puppet, who is pulling your strings???